Quickie Mart Mafioso

I have been approached by convenience store operators who live nearby about my shop. They have a sudden interest in purchasing it. Here's the kicker: they want to pay me in cash for the bulk of a hypothetical purchase price. And they need to invest ASAP, as in before the first of January.

Number One: I am not really interested in selling my shop. But I was talking to them, mostly out of curiosity regarding what they could offer, along with their disinterest in hearing the words "no thanks".

Number Two: What the heck do they think a person like me would do with tens of thousands of dollars in cash which they implore me not to bother reporting to the IRS? Stash it under my mattress, so that they could continue to launder money in peace? I pay taxes annually and before April 15th, thank you. I feel waves of paranoia when I deduct mileage for a trip to Sam's Club because I might buy a boxful of groceries while I'm there. While the rest of the entrepreneurial universe might think this could be one honey of a deal, I'm seeing FBI badges and a decade in prison for some combination of helping Al Qaeda and receiving drug money from this trio of dudes I know nothing about besides their obsession with blingy gold chains and their flirtatious Wild and Crazy Foreign Guy mannerisms.

Although I complain about the ups and downs of business, I consider my store like a long-term marriage which is comfortable but not always exciting. The pace gives me time to write, to hang out with my children and friends, and there's always enough to pay the bills. I will probably eventually move on, but I want to have something else in the works before that decision is made.

I just wonder how long it will take the bling mafia to give up and go away.

NTD