Respectable

I have all kinds of friends. By that, I mean that there's a wide variety of age groups, educational levels, and economic success. Some of them have outstanding warrants in multiple states, and some have plaques hanging on their walls touting their various civic accomplishments. Sometimes I loosely group the warranted buddies and the convicted felons among what I call my "bad" friends. I have bailed out my share over the years. But many of my so-called "bad" friends are among the best - and I would likely phone up some of them when I have troubles long before I would tell the more respectable ones about the darker details of my life.

Today I am having lunch with a couple of the Respectables. I don't fault them for their excess of virtue - I consider all people capable of misdemeanors and rebellion. It's just that some people have had a lack of drama, whether it is the luck of their non-addictive genetics or their ability to balance a checkbook, or their great good fortune in falling in love with a kind, reliable spouse at an early age. I consider my own spotless legal record to be largely a matter of my adolescent fear of hell, combined with mathematical prowess which helps me to stay financially afloat.

In the case of the lunch date, I happen to know that in the very early seventies, my wealthy friend had an FBI file regarding her anti-war activities. She once showed me an underground publication which featured a photograph of her younger, skinnier self leading a protest march. My other friend I'll see today has told me of growing marijuana on the balcony back in the day, sometimes travelling with grocery bags full of the stuff.

My warranted friends are a little younger, and some still wander the country with their weed and their untagged vehicles. It's hard to get to your court date when you're broke and five states west of the courthouse. Besides, it's mostly misdemeanor stuff - simple possession, minor speeding, no proof of insurance, vending in a concert parking lot without a license.

It's hard to blame anybody for their vices. Or for their troubles. They're still trying to live the Kerouac life, and somehow haven't noticed that it's 2007. And it's hard for me to condemn anyone for their dreamy love of the road, no matter how impractical. I have a perverse respect for the idealistic road warriors.

But I also respect the folks who keep the home fires burning, the gardens growing, and the children tucked safely in their beds. I feel the gravity myself more and more.

One definition of "respect" is this: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability. "Respectability", on the other hand, can mean "respectable social standing, character, or reputation". As for me, I can respect the respectable some of the time, respect the disreputable some of the time; but I can't respect the respectable OR the disreputable All of the Time.

NTD