Summer Hiatus

It's not as if there is nothing to say; I've rarely been accused of that, at least since I turned eleven and decided that speaking to others was a skill worth honing for my personal benefit. This was fifth grade, after the late winter of fourth grade, when the kid who picked his nose in the back of the classroom raised a snotty finger and pointed it at me. The boys were choosing dance partners for the Georgia Day square dance. That was the defining moment when I realized that I had to raise my voice in protest of something. I had to set limits and control my destiny. But I didn't. So the first hand of the opposite sex that I held belonged to the booger-laden class pariah whom I despised, because I was too shy to prevent it.

I pondered this humiliation during the summer. By the first day of fifth grade, I determined to quit being the mousey girl. I opened my mouth and spoke to classmates.

By sixth grade, I had advanced to spreading rumors about bra-stuffing simply because I hated a girl. I gossiped, lied, bragged, and sometimes even said nice things when I ran out of bile and nonsense.

I have rarely been at a loss for words ever since. This has made blogging easy for me, and my newspaper column has steadily hummed along for five and a half years.

But this summer I have been struggling with family illness, business, and other stuff of life. I want to write but have difficulty finding time for the blog right now.

Long story short, I'm taking a few weeks off and will be back to posting when life settles down. This worries me - not because there are hundreds of readers out there hanging onto my wise words - but rather because I love the discipline required by regular posting. It's writing practice, and the process helps me order my otherwise chaotic existence. I had tried to achieve this via purely private writing before starting to write online three years ago. But this site has worked remarkably well for me, so much better than pen and paper. Even the most mundane post requires reflection and focused intent. This page keeps me honest - I'm beyond spreading rumors about classmates' brassieres. I have to make sure that I'm not stuffing wads of paper down my own shirt.

So I'll get back to online wordsmithing by the dog days of August - I suppose that if I were still in school, that would be the beginning of the 41st grade.

NTD

busybusybusybusy...

...busybusybusybusy.

NTD

Cancer Sucks

My niece called early this morning to complain about the cancer life. Actually, it's not the cancer or the chemo that's getting to her; it's the lack of independence. She's almost 32 and trying to enjoy a week out of the hospital with her two sons before the second round of chemotherapy. However, it's jarring to lose one's job, one's apartment, access to any belongings that might harbor excessive germs, and even the simple pleasures of taking the children for summer outings or going to buy one's own groceries.

I can listen, but that is most of what I can do today. I can promise a little vacation (if her platelets and white blood cells cooperate) later in the summer, and I can send money, and I can visit, but that's about all. It's a helpless feeling, knowing that I can't rescue her from any of this. Cancer is so damned personal.

NTD

now what?

It's the morning after the final graduation - well, at least until Anna gets through college or Sarah goes for another degree. I still wake up involuntarily to make sure that Anna gets to school on time. However, I trust my intrinsic ability to sleep too much, which should be kicking back in within the next few days.

My shop is open from 11 - 7, which seems so darned civilized compared to other people's schedules. I don't mind the occasional six a.m. alarm when it is warranted - but I prefer my lazy, leisurely schedule which requires no alarm clocks at all.

I hope that Anna's somewhat amorphous summer plans include no early bird scheduling, since she will still be home most of the season.

NTD

another day, another graduation

It's amazing how girls can fret about wearing the "right dress" - with strict guidelines spelled out in the high school handout - just to cover their entire bodies with a cap and gown in order to march into Hanner Fieldhouse with the other graduates.

10:00 a.m. graduation... so early for those of us trying to abstain from coffee for a few days.

NTD

six word memoir

My life: music, southern cooking, kissing.

Just one of those dorky computer challenges. Most of the time I head directly for the "delete" button, but this time the one-minute answer seemed about right.

NTD

Congratulations Sarah!!!

It's a three exclamation point post - my eldest daughter Sarah graduated from UGA with degrees in Latin American Studies and Romance Languages. And in a few more days, my daughter Anna will be an honor graduate of Statesboro High School!!! Three exclamation points for her too!!!

Some days it feels wonderful to be a mother.

NTD